ZOMBIES!!

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JustSayHi - Dating

No Fantasies for people of Color

The last time I checked the worlds youth consisted of more than white children. Where are all the children of color in these hollywood blockbuster fantasy films. Before anybody says "the director is staying true to the books." we all know that to make a movie out of a book..things have to be changed, cut out, shortened and alot of the times characters and places have to be changed so don't start in with that. perfect example..in the Lord of the Rings..the books..hobbits are described as brown with woolly hair..kind of like the middle-eastern look but in the movies they magically changed into little white people..like the book didn't have enough of them already.
I've poored over countless serches for at least one fantasy childrens film that had any type of child other than white in a leading roll..the closest I came was Data in the Goonies. Me being the parent of non-white children I find the trend disturbing and dis-heartning. Other ethnisities go to the movies, buy dvd's, and spend good money on merchandice, it would be nice for the rest of our children to look up at the screen and see someone who looks like them on an epic quest...why can't they save the world a few times. This post was much longer but I shortend it for those of you with short attention spans.

Xbox live...the Movie!

I have a few good friends on Xbox .live that i would put in the movie. In order of appearence they are..Marlon wayans as me. Al Aquilo..a famous Filipino actor as Gords. Nick Swardson as Joe. Chili from TLC as my wife...I think they kind of look alike. Barbara Striesand as my mom..and the nutty professor as my dad..i swear he looks just like him. The movie has no plot or story. Just people saying funny shit on Live.

Me
Gordon
Joe
My Wife
My Momhref="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvR2a-xOXEEik1XGhtOrWrL7NbqnIZexbOk8ieNR1QwNUeFszQ-2BsOCcDXMOlg7blVIkqKpAtEGgaUCX3LRol3r5ihttDxNpVdguvtjNZTK-X2Ej0KJ6xRcGZi6fpW_w0rszP0zFCfx8/s1600-h/CANN9LGY.jpg">
My Dad

Tales From the ER

Minneapolis ER Hennipin County Medical Center

My wife twisted her ankle late on a Monday evening, so we had to go to the emergency room. We live in Minneapolis. We envisioned, somewhere in downtown St Paul, an apocalyptic ER filled with gunshot wounds, severed limbs, and people in the process of being murdered by gunshot victims. We figured the HCMC ER would be paper cuts, skinned knees, and a bunny rabbit with the heebie-jeebies. Next time, we're going to St Paul. Or Baghdad. Or anywhere.
The HCMC ER is a hallucinogenic combination of real, screaming trauma, and people who – I swear to God – seem to be in there just to hang out and watch television.
I went inside to get a wheelchair, since my wife absolutely, in no way, could walk. Her ankle was sending flaming pillars of pain up her leg. I wheeled her inside, and an admitting nurse gave her a form to fill out, told her there'd be a wait, and told us not to block the walk-up lane with the chair – all without looking at us. I juked the wheelchair over to a low, dividing wall between the admitting desk and a TV area. While my wife filled out her form, I took in the people around us. A bald man writhed on the floor, occasionally heaving himself to his shaky feet to lustfully vomit into a trashcan. Turns out he had a kidney stone. My only experience with kidney stones was Al Swearengen's ordeal during the second season of DEADWOOD. Ol' Al squeezed his stones out with the manly elan of a true villain. Then he drank some scotch, slapped a whore, and won an Emmy.
The Kidney Stone Man in the HCMC ER was the anti-Al. He bounced womanly howls off the animal wallpaper of the waiting room. His family – a mother and wife – managed to look concerned and annoyed at the same time.
With Kidney Stone Man setting the high bar for desperation and need, everyone else in the waiting room had to dial down their drama. They may have been hurt, but not rolling-around-on-the-floor-and-puking hurt.
The stench hit my wife, wincing in her wheelchair. "Oh man, that really smells foul."

It did. Poor sweetie. She was trapped in that vinyl and metal chair, unable to escape the fumes. Her twisted, useless ankle had rendered her immobile – a captive witness to the horrors around us. It broke my heart.

The animal wallpaper distracted me for a moment. Lions, and zebras, and hippos and cheetahs, all snuggled together and smiling on the African veldt. I don't even think all of those animals live in Africa. And I know they don't snuggle together in a big pile. Maybe this was a way for the Mpls ER to psychologically soothe the people in its waiting room. If all these animals – predator and prey – can get along, can't you keep your yap shut about your grease burn or head trauma?

Suddenly, Kidney Stone Man was drowned out by two young women, who were palm-banging the plastic of the admitting nurse's window. Was someone in even more distress than K.S. Man? Was this a compound fracture, or someone going into convulsions? It sounded serious – the women were yelling in Valley-speak – far louder than the man trying to pass the high school ring through his urethra. The nurse finally slid the plastic window open.

"Can we change the TV channel to DANCING WITH THE STARS? It started 5 minutes ago! Pleeeeeeease…?"

While the nurse looked for the remote control, a child whom the two women cut off began a honking, phlegm-y asthma attack.

"Oh man, that kid looks like he's dying," said my wife. "Does the nurse see this?"

The nurse suddenly popped her head up, and spoke to the two young women. "Someone stole the remote yesterday! You have to change the channel manually!"

The two women groaned, threw their hands in the air, and sat back down. The thought of walking the four feet to the television, and actually switching the channel, never occurred to them.

Kidney Stone Man managed to shriek, cry and vomit at the same time. Asthma Kid and his snotty, mini-bellows lungs added a pleasing bass tone.

I couldn't watch the nurse not react to Asthma Kid anymore, so I took in more of the waiting room denizens.

A morbidly obese man, overflowing a straining plastic chair beside me, clenched his wide face with a muffin-sized hand, quietly weeping. A young couple ate Subway sandwiches, and chatted pleasantly. They actually looked like they had come to the ER to eat sandwiches, talk, and watch TV. Neither of them has anything even remotely wrong with them. Asthma Kid struggled for breath while the nurse made his dad fill out a form. Kidney Stone man cursed several different gods.

Just as a chubby Goth girl near the snack machine started singing "She Drives Me Crazy"(which I'm sure is one of Rogs favorite songs!), I heard a sound behind me.

I turned. My wife had heaved herself out of the wheelchair.

"I can't take this, I'm sorry," she said. She twisted her ankle until I heard a light crack!, stood gingerly on it, took a careful step, and then hobbled out to the car.

It was the horrible-ness of the room. The room had cured her. And I couldn't help feeling like, after we left, the admitting nurse yelled, "Take five, everyone!". And then Kidney Stone Man, Asthma Kid, Goth Girl, Weepin' Chubs and the TV Ladies broke character, and had coffee, and did stretches, and waited for the next case to work their ghastly magic on.

PS..Wild Stallions Rule!!

Vigilante of the Month..

Rorschach! Watchmen by Alan Moore was not only a great, intense read but it also brought us some pretty memorable characters. The best one in my opinion is Rorschach. A brutally affective, finger breaking, neck cracking, dog cleaving spychopath. Rorschach's hunt for a kidnapped girl in one chapter is both intense and frightening. His back story is a common one. His mother a whore, father no where to be found, not to mention the ugliest kid on the block. In his first fight, around ten years old, he bit a chunk out of a bullies face...justice! Fast-forward 20 years and you have a hero. Very mis-understood...He's just trying to help! With a Watchmen movie coming out next year I hope they get the inner-rage and complexity of the character right. Read Watchmen if you havn't already. P.S. the ghost ship approaches!

To Catch a Predator...

PLUS
EQUALS

While I in no way, shape or form agree with people trying to have sex with under-age girls or boys...but isn't Cris Hanson and Dateline preying on the predators? Lets "catch" them shall we. some of these guys would have been perfectly happy to "choke there chicken" online just talking and fantasizing about these girls/boys. But the staff online says "hey do you want to come over and I'll choke it for you.". Entrapment anyone? A fantasy, no matter how sick it is, is still just a fantasy. It only turns into a crime when acted out. if Chris Hanson doesn't offer it to the pervs they would just get there jollies off and go to sleep not drive 4 hrs to a house where the little girls or boys mysteriously have to clean out the litter box or finish the laundry when they get there. The men that went do deserve what they get for being pervs and idiots, plus seeing them cry when the cops takle them like its the superbowl is very entertaining but a predator is still a predator and mr. Hansen qualifies under the deffinition of the word.

Shout Out to Ex and Cracked!! See you on dateline!..lol

Torchwood...No my crotch isn't on fire! A great new Sci-Fi show .

Torchwood is an underground, under-the-radar top secret earth defence force against aliens. A spin off of the wildly popular Doctor Who series, Torchwood shows a much darker side to the Doctor's universe. Gruesome murders and some what explicit sex seens are normal fair, but in my opinion after seeing 5 episodes the fact that the good guys don't always win is a welcome formula change and adds a sence of realism to an otherwise fantasy scenario. The characters are cool and believable even if the plot isn't. A great way to spend an hour before hitting the town on a Saturday night. A great show for fans of Sci-Fi. You can also see all missed episodes for free on BBCA onDemand...ps. I hate Comcast.

Musings on Politics with the Trans-gendered Cuban Couple who live Upstairs from Me

Well this is the first of what I hope to be an ongoing series of blog post with my upstairs neigbors. These guys...er..girls have all the answers.

TGC#1: If people want to get fucked in the ass..let them!
TGC#2: Yeah they must like it right?!
TGC#1: It should have been up to the Iragi people to say "Hey stop fucking us in the ass Sadaam! We don't like that!".

Yes, elligantly spoken Trans-gendered Cuban neighbor #1.

My Wife and I in 40 Years